When I was four years old I wanted to be a ballerina!

In fact, all my life I wanted to be a singer, an actor, a writer, a dancer...something in the arts, something expressive and creative...something glamorous and special!

My parents are/were simple people. They grew up in small towns in the heart of the Ottawa Valley. They had fairly rugged lives. Lives of frugality and sparsity. They both grew up just after the Depression and both of them went to work at young ages because there weren't many other options. They had to contribute to their families and they had to grow up fast. It was because of their simple and rugged beginnings that they wanted me to have all the opportunities that they did not. I became the vessel of all their love, hopes, dreams and secret desires.

I had a fairly indulgent childhood. Although we were far from rich...in fact we were far from even middle class; I never did without. I often had more than my truly middle class schoolmates. I was, for nearly fourteen years, an only child. And, in a word, "spoiled".

But what I remember most vividly though was my parents love and encouragement. They constantly told me, "You can be anything you want." The other thing I remember was my mother's love of the arts, music, dancing, fashion and especially movies and movie stars. My mother had had aspirations that she never fulfilled and she passed them onto me. Kind of her bequest. Part treasure and part burden. In fact it reminds me of a beautiful line from a film by Francis Ford Coppola called "TUCKER" wherein Martin Landau's character
reminisces about his mother's warning: "Don't get to close to people or you will catch their dreams!"

I grew up in the small town of Pembroke, Ontario. In it's heyday there were approximately 15,000 people in this bustling metropolis. Needless to say there weren't a lot of opportunities to be a ballerina! I day dreamed a lot of moving to the big city. At 12 years of age I made my first foray into Toronto with my dad. It was love at first sight. So many people. So many big buildings. So much going on everywhere...all the time. Every year thereafter I would make my annual pilgrimage until at the cusp of my 17th birthday I called my parents on one of my visits and told them that I thought I was staying. Remarkably they handled it well and even commented that since it had been gone over three weeks already, they were kind of getting that impression.

When about two weeks later my much imposed upon uncle told me that he had invited me down for a visit and not to live with him, I tearfully called upon my parents who immediately loaded up a trailer full of supplies & goodies and drove to Toronto to help me move into my first home...a room in a very funky old rooming house on Madison Avenue. And there after began my long great adventure that I am still on today.

Along the way I dabbled in acting...in theatre...in dance...in writing...in filmmaking. For a while I even published an up-and-coming arts magazine.

And then, one day, I stopped and took an assessment of my life. I was 34 and broke and in yet another 'arts' job that was unfulfilling and poor paying. I worked 12-hour days and got screamed at all day long. Nothing was ever good enough. Nothing was ever appreciated. Nothing was ever going to make me happy...let alone my bosses. And I asked myself: WHY? WHY AM I DOING THIS?

After a particularly brutal trouncing by my vicious talentless boss at this sleazy film company (which shall remain nameless...because they changed their name every year anyway...if you know what I mean) I fax blasted out resumes and got several job offers. The one I ultimately settled on was working with one of the top real estate agents in the country. It was an odd choice, but I had had a couple of stints working for some friends in real estate and something about the field had always held some appeal. After several interviews, I started my 'part-time' job and nine and a half years later I'm still there. I am now a successful real estate agent selling homes all over this great and exciting city...including on Madison Avenue. My clients come from all walks of life: working class people to CEOs and bank presidents....even a few movie stars and other celebrities. Along the way I have also revived my own dreams:

- I am acting in and producing films...mostly short to date...with aspirations to something longer;
- I travel annually to the Sundance film festival and for the last three years I have been a patron of the Toronto international film festival;

I do feel that somehow my mother's love and passion - especially her love of film - has found a home in me and that somewhere she is smiling down proud of what I've become. Just yesterday I got an email from my wonderful, generous father wherein he referred to me as "My dearly beloved son in whom I am well pleased!" Perforce revealing his poetic heart.

And although I never became a ballerina, I feel like I have made a beautiful and rich life.