"The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off..."

"The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears." - W.H. Auden


Was out partying last night...boxing day night. Not usually a night I associate with dancing and partying...especially since it was also a Sunday night. Why not?

It was D Squared's party at Maison on Mercer Street. A hip street of hip clubs full of pretty bois and hipster chics. I felt both in and out of place. My new obsession/hero, Blake McGrath was there. I waved/beckonned to him across the club and he acknowledged me. Later, I fabricated a chance to even meet and shake hands and make intros at the bar. Today I facebooked, tweeted and now blogged about it. I feel so....teenage girlie about it...lol!

I must say that life has become a tad dull lately. I had my big Holiday open house party last Sunday...for which I baked and prepared for weeks. It was a big success. But since then, I have been OVER the holiday spirit. So last night was a tiny taste of the fabulousity of the summer and perk of holiday energies...that I needed.

Just now as I was typing this blog in a somewhat self-pitying mood, my mobile rang and lo-and-behold there was a last second dinner invite from a guy I've been chatting with off-and-on for the better part of the last year. I finagled invited for my friends (at first he declined -- requesting a rain-check and begging for forgiveness due to lack of sufficient food -- but then he called back and reneged on his reneg). Miracles. In this great big city. With all these phone #s and facebook friends and twitter followers, it is so easy to feel or be lonely...and so completely unnecessary. Then the phone rings...and it's all over. A new life!

It's almost New Year's and I want to make the most out of 2011...so let's go have FUN!

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)

What are you daring to do? What are you avoiding? What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? What's holding you back? What would you be doing if you weren't afraid? What are you afraid would happen? What will happen if you don't dare? What will change? What will remain the same? What will you lose? What will you gain? What will you become if you do or don't dare? Who are you? Really....

"The hottest love has the coldest end." - Socrates

The Greeks knew everything...under the sun. Life. Love. Liberty. They knew and wrote about it all....thousands of years ago. So nothing has really changed...really. NOTHING. Just different names/places and the era and scenery perhaps...but it's all human existence. Its hard not to slip into ennui or despair with that idea, but then who says it can't be fun rediscovering and reinventing. Who says you can't repeat history...and have fun.

THE HOTTEST LOVE...I had one of those once or twice. Both took a lot more out of me than the ultimately contributed...by the cold end. Both were reliefs to leave/escape. And not that there weren't "moments of joy"...but those moments were few and far between. And as the cold bitter end drew closer and closer...they were non-existent or purely invented.

Dreams and loves die hardest when held tightly. The trick is to LET GO!

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. - Confucius

So often I have failed and let it stop me. How I have felt the depressing reality of missing the mark, of falling short, of not succeeding. But the truth is, we are never really failures til we stop. Stop trying. Stop persisting. Stop moving forward. Whether, like Sisyphus, it feels like we are pushing a boulder up a hill or mountain, it is important to know: it is OUR boulder and our HILL. In other words, your life's work is to push boulders up increasingly higher and higher hills and mountains. And if you are on the right path, just as you get to the top of one hill, another bigger mountain and another, bigger boulder will appear

"Despise not small things, either for evil or good, for a look may work thy ruin, or a word create thy wealth. A spark is a little thing..."

"Despise not small things, either for evil or good, for a look may work thy ruin, or a word create thy wealth. A spark is a little thing, yet it may kindle the world." - Martin Farquhar Tupper

It is often the "little" things that make the difference. The smile when you least expect. And extra little effort by a salesperson. A pat on the back or compliment from a colleague or lover/friend. A small, silly gift not needed or wanted but left with care and love...a surprise. Breakfast in bed. A kiss. An embrace. A call out of the blue...

All of these things can add up to a delightful moment or day or life. How much power we all have to do so much with so little effort. So go the extra little step. Give a little more. Say something nice. Make a compliment. Shake someone's hand and smile. Be real...honest...caring. It makes a BIG difference!

"Had there been no difficulties and no thorns in the way, then man would have been in his primitive state and no progress made in civilization..."

"Had there been no difficulties and no thorns in the way, then man would have been in his primitive state and no progress made in civilization and mental culture." - Anandibai Joshee


Well, I'm back from Paris and the Marathon de Paris. WHAT A TRIP!

Rachel O and I flew there and arrived on Tuesday morning. After we checked into our hotel, we were joined for lunch by Melanie and Rachel J. We had a lovely afternoon and drank, ate, talked, walked. Then Rachel O and went back to our hotel and booked tickets to the south of France! Went back out for the most extraordinary dinner at Des Ombres underneath the Tour Eiffel. We ate, drank, talked and watched the Eifell Tower twinkle all night. Then Mel & Rachel J joined us and we went out for drinks in the Moulin Rouge area. Then Rachel O and I went back to the hotel for 3-hour sleep (I had been up for 48+ hours at this point) and woke up at 4am and rushed off to ORLY airport and flew to Nice!

Once there, we rented a stunning, brand-new silver Mercedes E250 and drove to CANNES! My dream (almost) come true. We booked a room at THE CARLTON (another dream fulfilled) right on La Croissette staring into the Mediterannean Sea! Oooh la la! Then we ate and drove off into the mountains of Provence. We stopped at a tiny village called Flayosc and had drinks and nibbles. There we met a lady from.....Unionville! The same home town as Rachel O!

After chatting with her and walking around the village, we jumped back in our car and drove to St Tropez!

DOES IT GET MUCH BETTER????

Then after sushi, drinks and tons of ice cream, we drove along the coast back to Cannes and Rachel zonked out. I stayed up on La Croissette dreaming of the Cannes Film Festival I will one day attend. Then finally went to bed.

Next day we buffeted in the main restaurant and headed out. Driving now to Montecarlo! OOOOOH MY GOODNESS! How utterly beautiful. We lunched and Rachel gambled ($20 Euros in a slot -- gone in 5 seconds) and then headed back to Nice to the airport to catch our flight back to Paris!

WOW...those first couple of days were some of the most extraordinary of my recent/whole life!

LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE...thorns and all!!!!

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." - Sir Winston Churchill

Give! Gift! ForGIVE!

Our culture put's a lot of emphasis on GIVING. It is a major "Christian" (and probably other religions too) or Western tenet! Certainly a lot of 'lip service' is given this doctrine. But how much is actually enacted, lived-up to, fulfilled upon? There is a notion of unselfishness or selflessness in this precept. But how many of us truly "GIVE" in that way.

So often, my own giving has strings attached:

- like me
- admire me
- love me
- respect me
- help me
- give back
- I am good...see how good I am

Is this really, really giving?

Is it even possible to GIVE without GETTING. Is it possible (or even desirable) to be SELFLESS? Is it possible for others to 'take advantage' of your/our/my giving? Or is that the cost of giving selflessly. TO (for)GIVE IS DIVINE!

But who assigns the DIVINITY and is that just another form of GETTING???

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

DREAMING...is a much undervalued activity in our western culture. We prize action, accomplishment, awards, accolades, achievement. But what achievement didn't first start out as a dream?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once stated: "I have a DREAM..." and he changed the United States and the World. What was the Apollo Moon Mission if not first a dream. Or what about every invention. Or Olympic record. Or great business story.

EVERYTHING starts with a dream. A goal. An idea!

"To Dream The Impossible Dream" - Don Quixote in "The Man From La Mancha" (based on the works of Cervantes) sets out on a quest out of his dreams.

WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT?

"To sleep, perchance to DREAM...!"

"Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most are the things you will do the best." - Marva Collins

HABITS...they can be "good" or they can be "bad"! That's a rather simplistic view of them. Really, all habits are GOOD because they are fulfilling some want/need/desire. The thing is: is the want/need/desire they are fulfilling...fulfilling you...really!?

Sleeping in may have become a HABIT. It may seem annoying and distracting and not fulfilling...but perhaps you are AVOIDING something else and sleeping-in takes you out of the position of having to DEAL with it. In that context, the habit of sleeping in is fulfilling a need/want: avoid stress...avoid issues...avoid problems. In that closed system, the habit is GOOD and EFFECTIVE. But in your over-all life, it may not be serving you. It might (however painful, ackward, difficult) be BETTER to confront that which you are avoiding head-on and thereby alleviate the need for the HABIT.

Other habits can be both good and effective and fulfil on what you are up to in life.

RUNNING daily or weekly could fulfil on your desire to stay fit and healthy. To run a marathon one day. To burn off some extra winter weight. To gain overall energy.

But funnily, those "GOOD" habits often seem like the hardest to adopt. It's been said that it takes 21-days of repetition and consistent doing/action to build a new habit. I can also say that it days one or two days of NOT doing it to totally destroy an effective and consciously-chosen habit. They are generally week mental constructs and need lots of support and nurturing.

There are lots of modalities out there proporting to instill and entrench new, good habits: NLP, hypnosis, coaching, affirmations, etc. I have tried them all and they can work and they can be effective....but at the end of the day, my experience has been that it is sheer DRIVE and INTENTION and COMMITMENT or DESIRE that will fuel a long-term GOOD habit!

SO...what do you want to accomplish? Be? Do? Have? That creating/manifesting GOOD habits (repetitious actions/behaviours) would serve and nurture? If you can learn to harness this innate human capacity, then you can go very far!!!!

"What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth: life always spills over the rim of every cup." - Boris Pasternak

To me this says: LIFE IS MORE THAN THE SUM OF ITS PARTS.

The mere factual elements do not embrace the magical whole that is unknowable and unpredictable. Life is ultimately miraculous. How often do we think that 1+1=2 and instead we end up with 100?

We are also greater than the sum of our parts. That is why individuals -- you/me -- are always surprising ourselves. We cannot predict what will happen next. Or what we are ultimately capable of. So it is important to keep an eye on the factual and leave room for the miraculous!

Life is...vast, bold and unpredictable. Grab hold and enjoy the ride!

"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence."

The above quotation is from the venerable Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. A potent voice in American human rights struggles. And a man of great wisdom and prescience whose legacy has grown over the years. His words here and in other memorable quotations have a way themselves of uplifting and inspiring people around the world.

It seems that this quotation alludes to two things:

a) that all work or actions have an impact in the world -- there is nothing humanity does that is insignificant
b) that when such work is focussed on uplifting and freeing human kind, it must be practices with an awareness to doing it precisely and carefully...or in his words "with painstaking excellence".

Too often we are overwhelmed by feelings of insignificance. Who am I in this crazy world of 7-billion people? What difference does my little voice and my small actions make in and on the world? And from this, an inevitable resignation and apathy can stream forward to WHY BOTHER!!!!

WHY BOTHER indeed! IN DEED! Every action is significant and every human engaged in good work is impacting not only him/herself but those around them. We are all creating a legacy, a world, a context for continuing human existence. And no person and no endeavour is too small and without impact.

SO...speak up, take action, reach out, be/do/have that DREAM of which Dr. King spoke of in another famous speech. It inspires all in ways we cannot know at the moment. It reaches beyond us and sets the stage for others and other actions. It's a snowballing effect. And with the increasing interconnectedness of the planet through social networking (email, internet, facebook, twitter, etc.) we are NOT living in or on an island.

THIS IS PLANET EARTH AND YOU ARE AN IMPORTANT CITIZEN!

"Striving for perfection is the greatest stopper there is... It's your excuse to yourself for not doing anything..."

"Striving for perfection is the greatest stopper there is... It's your excuse to yourself for not doing anything. Instead, strive for excellence, doing your best." - Sir Laurence Olivier


Admittedly, doing SOMETHING is way better than doing NOTHING. When you do nothing, you get/have/be NOTHING! Perfection is the false promise/premise. There is no such thing as PERFECTION...just perfecting. Excellence on the other hand is a viable destination or goal...it's also a natural (potential) outcome of doing consistently. PRACTICE DOES MAKE EXCELLENT (if not perfect).

I look to my life -- even this blog -- and see how many times I have been STOPPED by my fears of inadequacy or worries about my ability. Everyone (except perhaps freakish protoge's or savants) starts out a "beginner"! In fact, in Zen and particularly in the work of WRITING DOWN THE BONES author, Nathalie Goldberg, she talks a lot about returning to BEGINNER'S MIND. This is a fertile place to be, to explore, from which to draw and create. A perfect mind is not likely to go places that it's been before or knows are fruitless...or dangerous. A beginner's mind will venture there...and discover newly whatever there is to discover and create what there is to create.

RISK / REWARD!

Risk embarrassment and be rewarded with accomplishment. It's all about ACTION ACTION ACTION. Too often, I / we are satisfied with merely "thinking about" or "dreaming about" the lives we want to have...rather than taking bold action towards fulfilling upon it. What's the worst thing that can happen? We fail? We shame ourselves? We make a fool of ourselves? WHO CARES! We are all going to die one day and having risked and lost than never risked at all is a way better way to live and die than a life full of regrets.

Not unlike love, taking action, risks, chances NOW is a sure-fired path to making something happen!

"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart & hell; forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits." - Hannah More

I read an essay from my blog and a few old poems at my recent SAVAGE NIGHTS: An Arts Salon. It was great fun and has encouraged me to blog/write more. It's been a challenge with my schedule to find or rather, to make the time necessary to do this. But the rewards of that evening are an inducement to make the necessary effort.

About this quote:

"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart & hell; forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits." - Hannah More

I am at a loss to opine more succinctly than the author of the quote has...but to give it a go:

FOREGIVENESS is divine or as Alexander Pope wrote:

"To err is human; to forgive is divine."

We all make mistakes. We all ERR. But we don't all forgive. Forgive our own errors and erroneous thoughts and ways...and those of others. If we cannot forgive, we are forever locked in an old mode of morality...one that posits A RIGHT WAY and A WRONG WAY. This duality is very dangerous because it puts US in the seat of moral rectitude. And truly, who are we to judge. Of course, every day and every way, we are exercising judgement or choice. But to impose our choices on others and further, to be unwilling to accept our own mistakes and those of others, leaves us righteous and unhappy. And when institutionalized, creates a very circumscribed and tight world. A morally repugnant world. A world without grace or joy or beauty.

SO forgive.

Forgive yourself your trespasses and those who trespass against you.
Forgive your lapse in good judgement.
Forgive your neighbour for their indiscretions.
Forgive the world for it's erroneous ways.
Forgive God for his/her mistakes.
FORGIVE AND YOU SHALL BE FREE AND HAPPY!